Geller Family Adoption

2008-06-09T18:18:00.011-07:00

Long time no post.

We have been so super duper busy it has been crazy.

Well, the girls did see the geneticist and it was confirmed that they have a genetically inherited connective tissue disease. It affects Jessika's vascular and skeletal system, Emilee's skeletal system, and so far is minimal in Holy affecting her vision and her tissues. Nothing serious for her yet.

We recently adopted Emilee's BFF's dog Cody. He is a 10 month old white Shiba Inu and is gorgeous. We just love him and he gets along great with our 1 year old black lab Shelby who now finally has a playmate that can keep up with her.

Emilee had major back surgery on June 2 to correct her severe scoliosis. She had titanium rods and screws placed on both sides of her spine. When they did the surgery, her curve was at well over 50 degrees; she had correction done to both lumbar and thoracic. She is home now and we are still trying to get back to our normal home life routine.

Now that Emilee is recovering, we should be back on track with our adoption process. All of our homestudy paperwork has been redone and we should be getting that back to Adoption Alliance within the next few weeks. Hopefully no more drama in our household for a while and we can concentrate on our adoption.

2008-01-25T20:48:00.000-07:00

Next Wednesday is the BIG day! I get my cast off and I cannot wait! Emilee's surgery is scheduled for March 19 but my ex, her father, decided he doesn't want any surgery done until she and Jessika have genetic testing done to prove 100% that they have Marfan Syndrome. Apparently the doctor's diagnosis isn't good enough for him. So, that's happening on February 12. Anyhow, we should be back on track with our adoption real soon; Chad went and had his fingerprints on Wednesday and next week he has his physical and then we are done with our Home Study paperwork!!! Yippee!!!

2008-01-12T23:38:00.000-07:00

Had my ankle appt. this week. Got my original cast removed, my stitches taken out, and my new cast put on. It was painful getting the stitches pulled out, but amazingly there is no bruising whatsoever. I was really surprised. I start walking next friday with a boot and will go back to the doctor in another 3 weeks.

Emilee had her back surgeon appt. on Wednesday; her spinal curvature has gone from 39 degrees on 10/1/07 to 44 degrees on 1/9/08. She is having surgery on March 19. I am so scared and nervous, as every mom is that has a child having major surgery. Here are her 2 back xrays, one from October and one from last week. They are focusing on straightening the bottom portion of her spine since that is where the majority of her curvature is.

[October 1, 2007, 39 degrees]

[January 9, 2008, 44 degrees]

It really is incredulous to me how my child went from having a perfectly straight spine last May to being so bent in less than one year but apparently that is characteristic of Marfan's and its progression during puberty. As long as they give her lots of pain meds and I know she isn't suffering from pain, I think I will be okay. I really just want to get through this chapter in our lives. I wish I could trade places with her; I would do it in a heartbeat, no questions asked.

2008-01-07T03:25:00.000-07:00

Long time, no post. December was a huge blur for me. I had surgery on December 17 and it was much more complicated than my doctor expected. Apparently the only thing holding my ankle onto my foot and leg was the skin on the outside of my body. He didn't know how I was still walking without excruciating pain. He drilled holes in 3 areas of my ankle, foot, and leg and used cadaver ligaments/muscles to reattach everything. The entire first week I was sedated and hardly remember Christmas Day at all. I'm off work on Short Term Disability for the time being until I get the okay to go back to work. My cast goes from my toes to my knees and talk about pain!!! I can't wait for this period in my life to be over. The entire recovery time will be about 4 months.

In the meantime, this Wednesday is Emilee's appt. with her back surgeon to get the final details on her back surgery. The Marfan's has caused her to have a 39 degree spinal curvature and she'll be having reconstructive back surgery to include titanium rods and screws on each side of her spine to straighten it. She is anxious to get it started so she can "get back to normal" but of course I am scared to death for her. I think seeing her in pain will be the hardest part for me. Once everyone is done being cut open and "fixed", as it were, we will be 100% focused on our adoption. I just can't wait to get there.

2007-11-23T22:43:00.000-07:00

Although the girls were with their dad this year, we ended up having a really nice Thanksgiving. Several of our friends came over with their kids; I was able to hold and play with my friend's 5 month old nephew. He is such a doll and I can't wait to have another baby in our home. Unfortunately, I now have to have surgery as well as Emilee. I have severely sprained my ankle twice and the ligaments are shot, so the doctor is using donor grafts to repair it. Once I'm recovered from that, then it will be time for Emilee's surgery. She will be having titanium rods and screws put into her back to straighten her spin; she has a 40 degree curve and the only option is surgery. I feel horrible for her. Next Friday, Jessika has her visit with her cardiologist to determine if her aorta has dilated more than last year and if her mitral valve prolapse has worsened. You know something.....Marfan's sucks!

2007-10-02T20:43:00.000-07:00

My daughter Emilee will be having reconstructive back surgery in January so our adoption is on hold for now. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

2007-09-24T19:15:00.000-07:00

Once again our adoption is being put on the back burner.
Last December my oldest daughter, Jessika, was diagnosed with Marfan Syndrome with aortic dilation and mitral valve prolapse.
This past Friday my middle daughter, Emilee, was diagnosed with progressive degenerative scoliosis caused my Marfan Syndrome. She sees the pediatric orthopedic surgeon next Monday for further evaluation.
Ugh.

2007-08-29T20:02:00.000-07:00

I have been getting emails from people so I decided I should go ahead and post an update. We just got back from our vacation in Cabo, Mexico and had a wonderful time. Now that we are both back to work and back to school, our focus is to get our new home study paperwork finalized and get back on track. I am still waiting for my employer to sign and return to our agency my employment verification and health insurance verification letters. I don't know why they are stalemating on this, but it is really bothersome. Hubby just left his old job with WalMart and is now working with me at AAA so we get to see lots more of each other now. He is thrilled to finally be out of retail after nearly 22 years. I am so grateful that he is closer now and comes home from work with a smile on his face. Other than that, we are slowly but surely moving forward. I just haven't had time between work, vacation, my ankle injury, and school to post on the boards but it isn't that I've forgotten anyone. :-)

2007-08-05T11:42:00.000-07:00

What a hectic past month. Our adoption is moving slower than molasses.

Last month I went away for the weekend with some girlfriends to Pagosa Springs and our last night there I fell down the stairs in the hotel and severely sprained my right ankle. Since there is no hospital in Pagosa, they had to call 911 and transport me to Durango which is 65 miles away. I don't remember much of that night due to the amount of fetanyl and morphine in my system, but my friends say I was very entertaining.

I was on Percocet, crutches and a soft cast the first two weeks, now I'm using a cane, my foot is wrapped in ace bandages and a boot up to my knee, and I'm working with a physical therapist every week and I'm down to Darvocet for the pain which is still very extreme at times. At least it isn't black anymore.

The problem I face is that this is the second time I've done the exact same thing to the same ankle the exact same way; me and stairs do NOT get along. After our vacation in Cabo (we leave in 13 days), I see my orthopod again to schedule an MRI and determine if I need surgery, which looks like I will.

Oy. So, I have turned in my paperwork to my employer for employment and health insurance verification and am still waiting for that to be complete. Paperwork always seems to be the hold up.

2007-07-04T09:09:00.000-07:00

After meeting with the new adoption agency last month, we got good news and bad news. The good news is that they can take over handling our adoption without a problem. Bad news is that it will take at least another year because so much of our paperwork has expired so we basically have to start over. And we also found out that our old agency (FCVN) has filed bankruptcy and is closing. No wonder our paperwork was "lost". So, $1500 down the toilet and the updated home study is going to be closer to $2500.00. What a disaster this is turning out to be. We have to get new reference letters from friends, new FBI and CBI fingerprint checks, new employment verification letters, new health insurance verification forms, new medical forms for each of us which means 5 physicals to schedule. Basically the only thing we don't have to do over is our autobiography, the psychological profiling by the social worker, the classes, and our passports. I'm so frustrated right nowI just want to cry and Chad is even more upset about this than I am.

At least we have our vacation in Cabo next month to look forward too.

2007-05-23T22:50:00.000-07:00

How do you make sense of a crazy world? We are so fortunate to live in the US. My children are well fed, housed, and educated. Yet the area of the world where our son comes from is ridden with abject poverty, war, drought, HIV/AIDS, and genocide. We have the opportunity to do so much, yet we do so little. The apathy all around is frustrating. We are the richest nation in the world yet we give away so little of our resources; not just monetarily, but in time and effort in raising awareness. It truly truly grieves my heart.

http://instantkarma.org/index.html

2007-05-23T19:23:00.000-07:00

Another exciting week of graduations! Holy is finished with Elementary School and starts Middle School in the Fall; Emilee graduated from Middle School with Honors and begins High School. Jessika completed her Freshman year and will be a Sophomore; her and Emilee will be back together in the same school, which they are both excited about.

Our home study agency, Adoption Alliance, has reviewed all of our paperwork from the old agency; once they speak with CHSFS then we will have a game plan to move forward. We should be meeting with them next week.

2007-05-18T12:01:00.000-07:00

Good news!!!! Our new agency, Adoption Alliance, recvd the home study hand-delivered to their office this morning from our old agency, FCVN (DO NOT USE THEM!). I am so excited! Our new social worker is taking all the paperwork home and reviewing it this weekend to figure out what our next step is. Let's get this ball rolling already!!!

2007-05-12T12:40:00.000-07:00

Our new agency is still waiting for the old one to send them our homestudy so they can plan the next action to take. This waiting is impossible at times because we are so anxious to move forward. Yesterday a friend said "God knows the right time for your son to join your family". My flesh wants to take charge and be in control but I know that God's timing is always perfect. Ho hum.

This was a crazy week: I graduated on Thursday with my MA Degree in NonProfit Leadership. Next up......I start my PhD program in September. I guess I'm a glutton for punishment.

Today was the MS Walk. I was the event coordinator at work and managed to register 28 walkers and raise $755; my company is contributing $25 per employee that walked. Very very exciting!! That's 86% more than last year. I managed to complete the entire 4 mile walk and I must say that I am very proud of myself.

Tomorrow is Mother's Day and there have been a few referrals which is such a great gift.

2007-05-04T21:56:00.000-07:00

What a crazy week. I faxed the releases to FCVN twice and both times they said they didn't get them. So, I mailed the original hardcopies on Monday and am keeping my fingers crossed that by this time next week, our new home study agency, Adoption Alliance, will be receiving our home study. Once they get it, then they will know what else is left to do on it to get it finished. I am just chomping at the bit to get our dossier sent in but I guess all in due time.

One of my friends at work has offered to throw us a baby shower for Dasch. I thought that was very sweet of her although I must admit that I feel a bit odd about it. It has been so long since I had the girls and the idea of people giving us gifts for him seems a bit off-putting but I am happy to celebrate him.

An issue came up on one of my boards about the way the babies look on their birth certificates and adoption referrals. People generally have the stereotypical mindset of what Ethiopian children look like; they remember back to the '80's when the pictures on the news depicted starving children with bloated bellies and flies. By and large the babies don't look like that anymore but in the event that a child was premature and appears malnurished how do we defend what our children look like to others who get "that" look on their faces like "What the hell are you thinking?" It made me chuckle a bit because when I look back at the girls' infant pictures, they weren't exactly gorgeous. They were riddled with newborn acne, their heads were way too big for the rest of their bodies, and yet in my eyes they were absolutely gorgeous and perfect. No matter what our son looks like, we will be seeing him through our hearts.

2007-04-29T08:09:00.000-07:00

We got an email on Friday from Alexa with CHSFS; she did finally receive our home study from the old agency, thank goodness! While that is such a relief, we are very excited and happy about moving forward with our new agency to finish up our HS.

2007-04-24T14:26:00.000-07:00

We have a new home study agency.

We have been going back forth with CHSFS about our home study situation and were referred to Adoption Alliance to finish it up so we can move forward. CHSFS still hasn't recvd the home study nor is anyone responding to their phone calls. This has been such an agonizing time for us, lots of tears and frustration. But, we are moving forward with Adoption Alliance to get the ball rolling again.

2007-04-18T21:49:00.000-07:00

And so the saga continues....

Today we drove up to Denver to get our fingerprints done (I600A). I had told our HS agency yesterday that we would be driving up to get a copy of our home study. I specifically asked her what time is best and she said any time between 9:30 and 4:30.

We went to their office and all the blinds were closed and the doors were locked. We stood outside knocking and calling for 15 minutes and no one answered the door; we went around back and there were 4 cars parked back there and we could hear voices inside. Hubby left a message to call us immediately so we could get our home study and verify she faxed a copy to CHSFS.

We came home and found a message on our home phone that they never told us we could have a copy of our home study and that we are not entitled to it! She also said it is illegal for us to have a copy and it can only go from agency to agency and never to the client. Then she said that I never told her we were coming up so they weren't expecting anyone.Can you believe this? She said they did fax and mail a copy of our HS to CHSFS yesterday. But we still have yet to set eyes on it.

What gives? And I was completely surprised at the condition of their office building; it is run down, dirty, lots of phone books stacked up outside on the porch, trash everywhere. It was very shoddy looking, which I was not expecting. So we are now shopping for a new HS agency to update our HS and carry us the rest of the way through this.

Will this ever end?? I am trying to keep the faith.

2007-04-17T15:30:00.000-07:00

I talked with our home study agency today and was told that our caseworker quit in January and our file has not been touched since then. I was also told that although we did pay for the home study fees, they now want another $1500 in administrative costs; that was after already paying them $1750 for our home study.

She also said that since our home study was complete in July and since my daughter has been diagnosed with a life threatening illness, my home study needs to be updated.

I asked repeatedly why our numerous phone calls, emails, and letters have been ignored and she said it was because they couldn't find my file.

I told her to fax my home study to CHSFS today and that I wasn't paying them another dime and my relationship with them is severed. I also told her I was going to file a complaint against them. I basically fired them.

I am so irritated I could just spit! We have been waiting since January when we paid them our home study fee to send our home study to CHSFS and they have done nothing!!!

I am so upset about this. How do I find another local agency to take over my file and update our home study?????

Everyone on the board has been so helpful and supportive, giving me references to a new HS agency. This is the second agency that has been completely bogus and dropped the ball on us. I'm so tired of this. I really really just want my son home; maybe its selfish, but I want my baby!!

2007-04-15T15:44:00.000-07:00

2007-02-28T19:49:00.000-07:00

Yippee!! We closed on our house this afternoon and are so excited. It means we are one step closer to bringing our little boy home to us! We are finally feeling as if things are starting to move forward. We received a bunch of information from our adoption agency, including some questionnaires and a workbook on interracial adoption. I'm so excited to be moving forward. Our new house has a huge backyard; 1/4 acre to be exact. The dogs and the kids will just go nuts!!

2007-02-10T18:00:00.000-07:00

We found a house! Actually, its a house we found driving around on Christmas Eve '06 but by the time we went to look at it and make an offer, someone had beaten us to the punch. I just happened to be checking the available listings on Wednesday and lo and behold it was back on the market. Without even looking at it again, we faxed over our offer; we got a counter offer on Friday and accepted it!!! Yippee! We close at the end of the month. Here's some pictures:

2007-02-01T21:43:00.000-07:00

I checked with the post office today and our application packet arrived early this morning at CHSFS, our international adoption agency. I'm very excited. With everything that has happened this past year, it is very uplifting for our family to have something to look forward to.

I can hardly believe that on February 18 it will be exactly one year since we made the decision to adopt and began this long process. Wow.

Since February is National Marfan Awareness Month, I sent out emails to family, friends, and coworkers about an easy way to support Marfan research and awareness. Here's how it works:

Start online shopping at SupportMarfan.com (http://www.supportmarfan.com) and buy the gifts and things needed/wanted every day at brand name retailers -- including Amazon, Coldwater Creek, Gap, Dell, Lands End, 1-800-Flowers and many others. At no extra cost, an average of 4% of online purchases through SupportMarfan.com automatically goes to the National Marfan Foundation! Isn't that great? So many people shop online and this is an easy way to donate to a very important cause.

Well, tomorrow we are off to look at some more houses. We seriously need to find one and NOT have the contract fall apart on us. Keeping my fingers crossed.

2007-01-29T21:06:00.000-07:00

Today we took an exciting step forward with bringing our son home. We made the final payment to our homestudy agency and the first payment to our international agency. There are so many emotions; anxiety, joy, giddiness, fear. We feel like we have worked so hard for the past 5 years to get to this place in our lives. We have gone through many ups and downs in our marriage, considering separating and even divorcing numerous times. We have dealt with Jessika's illness which was heartwrenching. But through all of that, we feel like we are survivors and we are so ready for some good stuff to come our way.

Hopefully soon we will settle on a new home for our family. Jessika is taking her heart meds daily and watching her physical activity; we expect that she will be relatively healthy for a while. After all that life has thrown our way, we are expecting some really good news this year and we couldn't be more ready for it.

February is Marfan Syndrome Awareness Month

2007-01-27T07:35:00.000-07:00

Marfan syndrome is a connective tissue disorder, so affects many structures, including the skeleton, lungs, eyes, heart and blood vessels. The disease is characterized by unusually long limbs, and is believed to have affected Abraham Lincoln.

Marfan syndrome is an autosomal dominant disorder that has been linked to the FBN1 gene on chromosome 15. FBN1 encodes a protein called fibrillin, which is essential for the formation of elastic fibres found in connective tissue. Without the structural support provided by fibrillin, many tissues are weakened, which can have severe consequences, for example, ruptures in the walls of major arteries.

Beta blockers have been used to control some of the cardiovascular symptoms of Marfan syndrome; however, they are not effective against the skeletal and ocular problems, which can also be serious.

A related disease has been found in mice, and it is hoped that the study of mouse fibrillin synthesis and secretion, and connective tissue formation, will further our understanding Marfan syndrome in humans.

2007-01-24T21:46:00.000-07:00

So here we are house hunting and it has turned out to be quite the chore. We have seen many many houses and thought that 2 were "perfect" for us but then we had a change of heart. Today we found one that we absolutely love and one of the smaller bedrooms is already painted the color of sage green we had picked out for Dasch's room. The master bedroom has gorgeous views of Pike Peak. So, we have decided to make an offer on it tomorrow and, fingers crossed, we will get some good news and will be moving shortly.

Right now getting settled into our new home is the biggest obstacle with proceeding with our adoption. Jessika is doing well, taking her meds, and so far no major health crises to deal with. She is holding her own, to say the least. Before her diagnosis I had never even heard of Marfan Syndrome so to say I was blindsided is an understatement. In time she may eventually need open heart surgery and/or a heart transplant depending upon how much degeneration occurs to her aortic root. In the meantime, her activity is restricted and her cardiologist will be screening her heart to check how it is doing.

Anyhow, we are hoping by tomorrow night we will have an answer about our house.

2007-01-06T16:17:00.000-07:00

Its been a rough and rocky 5 months since our last post. My oldest daughter was diagnosed with Marfan Syndrome which is affecting her heart, specifically her aorta and mitral valve. She is now taking heart medication and her activity is restricted and this will be the case for the rest of her life.

When I got this news, I was floored; I literally felt as if someone has socked me in the chest and knocked the wind out of me. I felt like I couldn't breathe a full breath of air for 2 weeks. After talking with our home study social worker, we made the decision that pursuing our adoption at this time was not a wise thing to do. I needed time to focus on Jessika and our other girls as our family adapted to this scary medical issue.

Jessika is stable now. She will be monitored by her cardiologist every 3 months to check the dilation of her aortic root. It is currently measuring 3 cm and once it reaches 4, she will need open heart surgery.

I feel like I am just now coming out of the fog of disbelief, denial, and grief over this. We are just now reconsidering pursuing our adoption but I still don't know if I am ready. We will just keep talking and praying about it.

Legal Guardians

2006-09-20T09:55:00.000-07:00

I got a call last night. My best friend for over 26 years and his girlfriend said they will be Dasch's legal guardians if something were to happen to us. Carlos & Allison are great people and we are fortunate that they have agreed to this.
We have our final meeting with our social worker tomorrow afternoon in Denver.

2006-09-17T16:00:00.000-07:00

This is the changing table/dresser and crib we got for Dasch's bedroom:

This is the bedding set we picked:

2006-09-15T09:46:00.000-07:00

Our final home study session is this Thursday up in Denver. It will take Sarah, our social worker, about 2 weeks to finalize the report and then she will send us a copy to sign. Once we review it and sign it, she sends it to our local agency and they forward a copy to our international agency, although we haven't yet picked a new one.

Over the weekend, I came across an add on CraigsList for a crib and dresser/changing table. We went and looked at it yesterday and it was in pristine condition. The person selling it had it through 3 children; she bought it from Babies r Us 8 years ago and still has the original receipt and the warranty. She paid over $1000 for the set and she sold it to us for $250. Can you believe it?? It is a lighter color than I originally wanted, but it is gorgeous; it is maple and it looks brand new. She even threw in the changing pad, the crib mattress, and waterproof mattress pad, and some sheets. It was great to bring something home already put together so I don't have to do it. We just carried it right upstairs to his room and it looks great. I hung up the curtain rod today, also.

So, we are looking forward and moving ahead to our adoption.

3rd Visit w/ SW

2006-09-12T17:41:00.000-07:00

On September 21st we have our third visit with our social worker. Things have been on the backburner due to other issues. But are still excited and antsy about Dasch. Where at one time it was at our grasp. It seems so distant know. But it will happen. There's a reason why we must wait. Our angel hasn't been conceived yet.

2006-08-19T23:28:00.000-07:00

Our SW came down from Denver yesterday to do our home visit. Chad did an excellent job cleaning the whole house! I was very impressed!! I had been very stressed out about the cleanliness and condition of our house before this week, but because of everything going on with the girls and their dad, I think I was distracted enough to just be able to let it go. She did say we needed to get well covers for our basement windows, baby gates for the stairs, and hooks for the mini blind strings. Everything else she said was fine. It was pretty amusing talking with her; at one point she asked about the drugs I had done in the past and after I told her she piped in with "Yeah, the first time I smoked pot was on my honeymoon, so that tells you what kind of man I married, right?" I was surprised at her candor but it definitely relaxed me. We had a good talk not only about the adoption but also about the ongoing saga with the girls and their father. Hopefully that drama will be settled soon and we won't have that worry on our plates anymore. Our final visit with her is on Sept. 11 and then our home study is complete! What a relief that will be, to say the least. She has already said that if she had any concerns or objections to us adopting, we would already know about it. I'm feeling relieved that this portion of our adoption is nearly complete and we can prepare to move on.

Home Study

2006-08-18T22:04:00.000-07:00

We had our home visit tonite. It went well. She talked with the girls for a while. And talked to Michelle. I'll talk to her next month, Sept 13. I spent all day cleaning. Michelle hopes I'll continue my cleaning....

2006-08-07T10:54:00.000-07:00

Well, due to some issues with our family, it looks as if there may be another delay in our adoption. Unfortunately my ex-husband has done something that requires some court intervention and that means we will be getting an attorney. Our time, energy, and finances will be devoted to taking care of the issue at hand. We will go ahead and finish the home study but will wait before doing anything else after that until everything has settled down and worked itself out. Bummer.....

2006-08-03T10:33:00.000-07:00

Our vacation to California went very well. We used that opportunity to tell family and friends about our adoption. Overall the responses were very supportive and encouraging, especially from Chad's brother and sister-in-law. We only heard one derogatory remark and that was from Granny but otherwise it went really well.

We were scheduled for our home visit tomorrow but our social worker had to reschedule due to a death in the family. We are now seeing her on August 18 @ 4:30 pm. I get really frustrated with the delays but I try to focus on the bigger picture which is that God is in control of the situation and there is a reason for these delays. Plus, in this case, I get some extra time to clean my house!!

2006-07-18T09:56:00.000-07:00

Our first visit with the home study social worker went really really well. We really liked her. We talked a lot, over 2 hours, and she answered a bunch of our questions and asked a lot more. She is coming to our house on August 4 @ 4:00 to do our home visit. She'll be talking with the girls then also. We are scheduling the dogs to be groomed that day so they won't be around to be disruptive. After we get back from vacation, I will become a cleaning maniac! Hopefully this stressful part will be over soon and we can get started with the international portion of this whole thing.

2006-07-12T06:15:00.000-07:00

This is how Chad told his brother and sister-in-law about our BIG news:

"Brian & Liz-
We have some wonderful news to share with you two. We were going to wait until we saw you but I didn't want to wait. I have said we have a lot on our plates and have been swamped. There is a lot going on out here in Colorado.

I need you two to promise not to share it with anyone. Not even Mom or Dad. I want to tell them when I know for sure. Michelle and I are going to adopt a baby boy. We haven't told family because we didn't want to jinx it. And will continue not to tell anyone else quite yet. If you want we can tell you the details when we come out. We are telling you know because we didn't want it to effect Jim's special day. I wanted this to sink in before we came out. Didn't want to broadside you over beers in the backyard. You two are very important to me and I have been wanting to tell you. The girls know and are very excited to have a baby brother. The only other people that know our the four personal references we had to have (Carlos,Greg,Tiana, and Devon). We are very excited.

Love You Two....Chad & Michelle"

*********************************************************************
From Liz:

"Hi Chad,
I'm sorry it has taken me days to get back to you. I'm just not on the computer as much anymore...I miss you and can't wait to see you. And OMG, I am sooooooo
excited for you and Michelle. What an amazing new life you will have. We are looking forward to all the details. It's going to be great to spend some time with all of you. Much love to all and I'll see you in a few weeks. E- :-)
PS: My lips are sealed, promise. Not even Jackson knows."

**********************************************************************

From Brian:

"Can't wait to hold my nephew - I'm so excited! I need to start burning him some Van Halen CD's - well I guess I have time! Congrats to all of you - this is awesome!"

"WOW! That is awesome - great news! You all must be so excited - I can't wait to hear about it all - thats is great! Name? When is it final? Wow - can't wait to see you guys and catch up! Love Ya and congrats!"

"Dude!
That is so awesome. I'm so very proud of you and Michelle. Congrats Congrats Congrats! I think this is so cool and am very excited and what a kick ass name!!
So I have not had time to go through the whole blog but - Xmas time? So this must mean he was just born or is about to be??? Call me tonight - I want to hear about this - this is awesome. I'm so proud! Love Ya"

************************************************************************

We're going to put everyone's well wishes into Dasch's Life Book when he comes home!!

2006-07-10T11:20:00.000-07:00

Very exciting! I talked with our social worker this morning; we are meeting with her this Wednesday up in Denver at 10:00 am. She reassured me that it is totally casual, informal, and not to stress out about it. Our next meeting, she will come down to Colorado Springs and do our home visit, do a quick interview with each of the girls. I'm so happy that things are rolling along!

2006-07-10T07:12:00.000-07:00

I am sooooo tired of the rain!!! I've been out working in the yard every night after work and every weekend. I need to blow up my yard so I can start over on the lawn but I can't do that until I get 2 hours of direct sun and 8 hours without rain. For the love of God!!! Bring me some sunshine so I can get this done already!!!!

On a side note......Dh took a major step this weekend and confided in his brother about our adoption plans. He didn't want to surprise them and spring it on them when we got out there and we also didn't want our wonderful news to overshadow his cousin's wedding in any way. The next step will be to tell his mom and dad.

2006-07-07T19:17:00.000-07:00

An exciting day -- our passports arrived in the mail. I was so excited to see them!!! Next Wednesday we meet with our SW for our home study.

I don't think our yard will ever be finished. Ugh. There aren't enough hours in the day to get everything done that needs to be done. Oy.

2006-07-01T03:08:00.000-07:00

We got a call from our social worker this week. Finally! We're meeting with her July 12. We were going to head up to Denver yesterday for our fingerprints but since we'll be up there on July 12 anyway, we figured we might as well kill 2 birds with one stone.

We still haven't decided on a new int'l agency. I suppose asking the SW for her advice wouldn't hurt.

The front yard landscaping is coming along nicely. It will be nice to have it finished and see what we've accomplish. Holy moved into Emilee's room last week so the baby's room is now empty. We chose some paint color for it, too. Once our home study is finished, maybe we will be able to start getting his stuff set up.

2006-06-27T10:29:00.000-07:00

We're just so upset right now. We got an email from our international agency last night saying that once they receive all of our paperwork and our dossier has been accepted that we will be placed on a very long waiting list. We were told by the director that the wait is at least 18 months! We were astounded because we have friends who've adopted from other agencies and for newborn boys they waited maybe 4 months at the most for their referral.

I started asking around about the specific agency we chose (AFAA) and have heard horror stories about them. One couple accepted their referral in January '05 and they still don't have their child. Another couple received a referral with falsified background information. We've been advised by several people to RUN, not walk, away from this agency immediately.

So, here's the track record with international agencies....CWA closed their adoption program the day after we sent in our application and now AFAA is saying our referral with take AT LEAST 18 months, if not longer. Now the task of finding a reliable international adoption agency begins. I emailed the director (Cheryl) of AFAA this morning and told her we are no longer using her agency to facilitate our adoption. Granted, we won't get our $250 application fee back, but that's perfectly fine with me. I think this narrows our choices down to: Gladney, AAI, WHFC, and CHSFS. UGH!!!!! Someone please tell me what to do and who to choose!!!!!!

I'm so sad about this. I want to believe that all agencies are in it for the same reasons: to help children find families and help couples have children. Apparently there is a lot of fraud and dishonesty in international adoption. This just makes me sick. Here's just a few of the comments we've gotten about AFAA:

*************************************
"Hi,

I saw your post about working with AFAA and I just wanted to let you know that I have heard a couple of bad experiences with AFAA. Last summer when I was doing my research into agencies I talked with 2 families that warned me not to use AFAA. One family had a failed adoption (they ended up adopting independantly). The other family was given fabricated background information and were told things about the process that were not true.

I used CHSFS and was very happy.
XXXXXX"
*************************************
"Hi, this is XXXXX from the forum.

I want to say that I would RUN, not walk, away from AFAA. I have a friend who accepted her referral in Jan. of 2005 and still does not have her children home, and I have spoken with other parents just as frustrated. My friend emails and calls and just gets told "things are moving, but very slowly".

I would also stay away from CWA. They are new and still struggling to figure things out, and I know of at least two scary stories with them.

I can HIGHLY recommend both AAI and CHSFS. We used CHSFS to bring home our son XXXXX (age 5) and are now using AAI to bring home our 2 year old daughter.

AAI has families wait to prepare their dossier until they are high up on the list to avoid having them wait a long period of time, but I know a family that recently waited five months total for the referral of an infant boy. CHSFS I bet has a similar timeframe, if not shorter.

CHSFS and AAI are both great.

Best of luck,
XXXXXX"
**************************************
We received an email back from AFAA when we told her (the director, Cheryl) that we weren't using them anymore. She wanted to know why? I asked on my forum how honest I should be about feedback and this is what someone responded:

"Hummm... I'm all for honesty, but I know you need to be VERY careful with her. She likes to punish those who tell the truth about her to other families. If she can find out who told you negative things about her/AFAA and can hurt them in anyway, she will! She also hates CHSFS and has tried very hard to discredit them on the Ethiopia Adopt Yahoo group by insinuating that because CHSFS places a lot of babies and toddlers that they MUST be baby buying. A lot of CHSFS people left the Yahoo group because of this. As far as deciding about who to go with as far as honesty and being a good agency I really don't think you can go wrong with CHSFS, WHFC, or AAI (I don't know enough about Gladney to say).
XXXXX"

How sad is it that an adoption agency director can be so coldhearted about her job? This just makes me even more sad.....

2006-06-26T13:39:00.000-07:00

Got some good news today!!! Our home study agency called and said that the SW has been assigned. I then got a phone call from the SW, her name is Sarah. She wants to set up our home visit and get our home study done within the next 30 days. Yippee!!! We are going up to Denver on Friday for our fingerprints. Hopefully we will be able to have our first visit with our SW then.

2006-06-25T11:48:00.000-07:00

Yesterday in the mail we got our fingerprinting appointment information from immigration. When I saw the return address was Homeland Security, I was startled a bit. I couldn't figure out why we would get something from them. Once I opened it up and saw what it was, I was relieved. I thought it would take longer, what with the office backup and all. We have to go up to Aurora, CO and have it done up there. I don't know how long after that it will take to get the immigration finalization paperwork. Hopefully not too much longer.

2006-06-23T20:05:00.000-07:00

We are still working on landscaping our front yard. The girls have been a huge help and it has kept them busy during their summer break. Once we get the yard good and raked up tomorrow, we'll plant the grass seed and see what happens. All of the weed cover and mulch is layed as is the mulch, rock edging, and solar lights. It looks really good! We bought a cedar and wrought iron garden bench, planted flower boxes w/annuals, a hanging flower basket, a welcome flag, and hung out our name board. It is starting to come together. Now the backyard is another issue altogether! We totally have to put in a new fence, re-seed the entire thing, re-do the deck....ugh. The list is endless! But I feel like we've accomplished something this week with the front of the house at least.

I'm still irritated about the immigration issue. I seriously cannot believe that the Denver office is just now working on October 2005 applications! That just plain sucks! Underneath the disappointment and frustration, though, I'm trying to have faith that in all of this, God is still in control and He is working out the perfect plan for us and our son. I'm just so antsy to get him home!

Our next big project after the yard is to start on Dasch's room. I'm looking forward to doing that. It is so hot upstairs right now that maybe its a good thing for us to be doing when the weather turns cooler. I know it will all work out.

2006-06-19T19:58:00.000-07:00

We spent the weekend landscaping our front yard. It looks so much better! We still have no grass, but I'm sure that will come in time. Our back yard is the most frightening; I hope it won't matter for our home visit.

I checked the USCIS website today and the Denver office is just now processing I600A applications that were received in October 2005. This is so disheartening! I can imagine a state like California or New York with a high level of immigration applications, but Colorado? Oy.

This Wednesday is our last (thank God!) pre-adoption class. In all honesty, the very best part has been the other couples and not the class. It is so boring! But it has been interesting to hear what the other couples are going through with their adoptions.

We are still waiting for our local agency to assign a social worker to our case. I think the hardest part is the waiting and more waiting and even more waiting. Our next big house project is putting Holy into Emilee's room and getting Dasch's room ready.

2006-06-16T05:12:00.000-07:00

We had a very emotional and challenging adoption class this week. One couple who we have become friendly with had a birthmom that changed her mind at the very last minute. They were so devastated! Their little girl was born last Friday and the birthmom signed all the relinquishment papers and was discharged within 24 hours. Our friends had a room at the hospital and they stayed there with their daughter for the waiting period to be over which is 4 days in that county. On the final day, they were told to put the baby down and leave the premises immediately. Apparently, it was a fairly traumatic scene and they are in so much grief over this. I hardly knew what to say to them on Wednesday; it was extremely sad and frightening. This scenario is the #1 reason why we chose to adopt internationally...we simply could not bear that kind of loss in our lives. Unfortunately, adoptive parents still today have no legal rights and it is incredably sad. This situation will stay with me for a very long time.

We are preparing for our trip to California. We will be attending a family wedding as well as my 20th High School Reunion. UGH! While we are there, our plan is to have a talk with Dh's brother and SIL and discuss our adoption and ask them to be the legal guardians of our son should anything happen to us. This will be the first time we have talked about this with the family and hopefully they will be able to keep our confidence until we are able to announce it to everyone else. So far we've been pretty good at keeping this secret from them but I know it kills Dh to not be able to talk about it with his mom and brother. He only has to bite his tongue for about another month and then he can share this news!!!

2006-06-11T08:46:00.000-07:00

I am about 90% done with our dossier. All that's left to do is to wait for Dh's CBI police clearance letter (not much we can do to speed up that process, unfortunately), finish printing the pictures of each of the main rooms of our house plus the exterior, and writing our letter to the government of Ethiopia. I'm not exactly sure of what they are looking for, so I sent an email to our international agency for assistance with this. I also asked them what innoculations we need to start having done to clear us for travel to Ethiopia.

We are still bored to tears with our pre-adoption class teacher. UGH! I got a bit frustrated this week because we aren't getting the information we need specific to our situation. The questions we need answered are not being addressed, specifically with regard to interracial adoption. We aren't the only ones having issues either. We've talked with 2 other couples in our class and they feel the same way. This is becoming a waste of our $350! If it wasn't required, I wouldn't even think of going. I swear we are learning more from "Adoption Stories" on the Discovery Health channel than this stupid class. Only 2 more to go and then we're done. After that we have to sign up for some classes at the hospital and some on-line classes, too.

Holy has officially decided that she does not want a turtle. Darn! This was the key to getting her to agree to move into her sister's bedroom. OK, we were bribing her, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Now, since she's not getting a turtle she sees no reason to abandon her room that she's planning on sharing with her little brother. Our hope was that by enticing her with a new pet and then explaining to her that her baby brother can't have pets in his room because he's too little and it is too dangerous, she would see the logic in moving into her sister's room who has 2 birds. But, that little bribe did not work. I honestly don't see how we're going to fit his crib, changing table, and dresser into the same room as Holy's that currently is equipped with bunkbeds, a dresser, bookcase, and desk. She's already having issues with feeling like I won't need to cuddle, snuggle, and love her anymore once Dasch comes home that kicking her out of her own bedroom will be just too much for her to bear. Poor thing. I'm a cruel cruel mommy, I know. Dh says that after the first sleepless night with Dasch, she'll be begging to move in with her sister. We shall see.

That's about all for now.

2006-06-07T03:48:00.000-07:00

Today Dh is going to the police station to get his fingerprints done and state police clearance letter. That should take about 3 weeks to get back. Then he is going up to our doctor's office to get our good health letters; they were ready yesterday. Then we are up to Denver for our 2nd pre-adoption class. Another busy day but we will get some things accomplished. Later this week we need to work on getting 2 of the girls together in the same room and getting Dasch's room ready. He desperately needs a dresser at this point; all those trips to the ARC are starting to add up. His clothes pile just keeps growing and growing. We have everything from 6-18 month sizes for him. Of course neither Holy nor Emilee are thrilled about having to share a room but the trade off is that Holy gets a turtle. Emilee is especially hating the plan so we need to have a family meeting about how this is going to work. We are waiting to get news of our USCIS fingerprint date up in Denver. That should be any day now.

2006-06-05T11:04:00.000-07:00

I talked with our local agency today to make sure our file is complete and nothing is missing. She said it was perfect and complete. The next step is for the agency director to assign a social worker to meet with us and do our home visit. She said they have really had a lot of people applying lately and it is taking longer than normal to get a specific social worker assigned to cases. She said she would talk with the director today and we will hopefully have a SW assigned by the end of the week. In the meantime, we need to register for some classes at the hospital such as infant CPR, baby care, first time fathering, etc. Hopefully by the end of this week I will have everthing done for our dossier and will be able to mail that out to our international agency.

2006-06-03T11:22:00.000-07:00

We have had quite the week, to say the least. On Wednesday we went to the post office and applied for our passports. We should get those in about 6 weeks. We had our pediatrician appointment which went really well. We were able to ask a lot of questions and address our fears and concerns. We registered my van, finally. We dropped of our requests to the doctor's office for our letters of good health and no infectious diseases. Those should be ready on Monday. Then we went up to Denver for our first of 4 pre-adoption classes (PAC). We really enjoyed meeting the other adoptive parents but I must say that the facilitator is as exciting and dynamic as dirt. Several times I swear I saw some of the other couples falling asleep and I totally was losing interest in her. But, these courses are required so we have to make our way through it. We also have to take an infant CPR class and baby care class at one of the hospitals here in town. We finished up our registery at Babies R Us, Target, and WalMart. We still haven't told our family yet. We are waiting until our home study is completed and then we are going to send out adoption announcements. Next Wednesday Dh has to go downtown to get his state fingerprints and crime clearance done. That's going to take about 3 weeks to get back. All that is left of our dossier to be completed is:

--4 copies of each of our last 3 years federal tax returns w/W-2's
--Typed letter from our doctor of good health and no infectious diseases
--Color pics of each of us individualy, each of the main rooms of our house, and exterior pics (2 sets)
--Home Study (our local agency will take care of this)
--Dh's local police clearance
--State child abuse registry clearance for both of us (our local agency will take care of this)
--Letter to the government of Ethiopia, dated and signed by both of us, one typewritten page, explaining why we want to adopt from their country
--POA form for our attorney in Ethiopia (our int'l agency will take care of this)

Slowly but surely we are making progress.

2006-05-26T19:48:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I am going to dive into the dossier and try to get as much of that out to the agency as possible next week. Here's the list of what we have to send:

--International adoption application (original and 1 copy)
--3 copies of each birth certificate (me, dh, and each of the girls)
--3 copies of our marriage certificate
--3 copies of my divorce decree
--notarized financial form (original and 1 copy)
--4 copies of each of our last 3 years federal tax returns w/W-2's
--Bank letter providing checking and savings account balances (1 original and 2 copies)
--employment verification letter from each of us (1 original and 2 copies)
--current medical form for each of us
--typed brief letter from our doctor stating our health is good and we have no infectious diseases (original and 2 copies)
--color pics of each of us individually, each of the main rooms of our house, and exterior pics (2 sets)
--passport photos of me and Dh (2 of each of us)
--Home Study (2 notarized originals and 1 copy--our agency will send this when its done)
--autobiographies of me and Dh starting from infancy to current (original and 1 copy of each)
--local police clearance (this has to be on police letterhead, show each of our full names and addresses and be dated within the last 6 months...original and 2 copies)
--state child abuse registry clearance for me and Dh (original and 2 copies)
--3 signed reference letters from non-relatives (originals and 2 copies)
--statement of child support received (original and 1 copy)
--letter to the government of Ethiopia, dated and signed by both of us, one typewritten page, explaining why we want to adopt from their country (original and 2 copies)
--medical insurance verification (copy of our medical ID card and copy of benefits page indicating adopted children coverage...original and 1 copy)
--power of attorney form for our attorney in Ethiopia (2 originals and 1 copy)

Next Wednesday I took the day off from work so we can get some things accomplished:
--passport applications
--appointment with our pediatrician
--smog and register both our vehicles
--pre-adoption training classes

2006-05-25T07:39:00.000-07:00

We've gotten a lot accomplished this week. All of our medical paperwork is completed and signed; our international adoption agency application and notarized paperwork is completed and signed; our I600A is completed. Everything was sent out this week except for the I600A which we are mailing out today. It is very exciting yet nervewracking at the same time. We start our adoption training classes next Wednesday. We need to do some more housework to get his room ready and clean up before our home visit. Next Wednesday I am taking off from work to get our passports, meet with our pediatrician, file my legal name change with the court, and get one last piece of paper signed and notarized. Things are moving right along.

2006-05-21T15:20:00.000-07:00

After emailing all of the African adoption agencies, we finally decided on one that we like. The coordinator, Cheryl, has answered all of our emails thoroughly and has been very responsive to us. She even gave us the contact info for a Colorado family that adopted through her as well and we got an email from them yesterday. We're excited to be moving forward.

http://www.africanadoptions.org/main.shtml

2006-05-20T08:28:00.000-07:00

Our state requires that we take a certain number of hours of international adoption training classes. We were having a hard time finding them that we could go to after work but I came across these by accident:

Upcoming Core Training Dates
May 31, 2006 6pm-9pm
June 7, 2006 6pm-9pm
June 14, 2006 6pm-9pm
June 21, 2006 6pm-9pm
Cost: $350.00
Location: Highlands Ranch. Call for Address and to sign up as spaces are limited.
For information on location, or other inquiries, please contact Roberta Long-Twyman at (303) 377-9193, or email her at rltwyman@earthlink.net.

I emailed her yesterday and she said there was still space available so we signed up. I'm glad that things are moving along. Some days it seems like a lot gets accomplished and other days time just seems to crawl by.

2006-05-19T08:31:00.000-07:00

Some positive news: the agency refunded our money. We thought we were going to lose it but since the program is suspended, they refunded it to us. That's a relief. Now we need to look at the other agencies and make sure they aren't in the same situation as CWA. Its frustrating because I liked their faith-based approach to adoption and none of the others are faith-based. But, it just wasn't meant to be with that agency I guess. It could be worse, I suppose. Oh well.

Chad had his TB test read today: it was negative as well. Now we are just waiting for his bloodwork to be returned and then we'll send his health forms to our home study agency. So much paperwork! I did buy some more baby towels, some onesies, a pair of overalls (brand new, the store tag was still on them!!) and a pair of penguin pajamas for him from the ARC yesterday. They are just too cute and I can't wait to see him in them.

Got my FBI background check yesterday. All clear. So, we are slowly making progress.

2006-05-19T02:42:00.000-07:00

We got a disappointing email today:

Ethiopian Program Update

We at CWA are truly blessed by the response to our Ethiopian program, more than we ever imagined. Currently we have as many clients adopting young children as we can adequately handle. In order to continue to provide the level of service we offer our clients, we are placing a temporary hold on some applications. We will continue to accept applications for children age 5 and older, most of which are part of a sibling group.

For families wanting to adopt a child under age 5, we will maintain a waiting list. You can be added to this waiting list by emailing your name, address, e-mail and phone number to Carol Nelson at cwa@cwa.org.

We will contact you just as soon as we are able to process your application and accept you into this program. We hope that by this fall 2006 we will once again be able to accept applications for these younger children.

Sincerely,
Carol Nelson
CWA Director of Intake

Needless to say, we are disappointed and frustrated. Our options are to sign with another agency or stick it out with this one. UGH!!

2006-05-17T12:39:00.000-07:00

Chad had his physical today and TB test. He goes back on Friday so they can read it; I'm sure it will be negative as well. He's getting his lab work done tomorrow morning and then his medical paperwork will be signed and ready to send to the agency. I sent my paperwork yesterday. We have an appointment with our pediatrician on the 31st; we're going to discuss immunizations for him when he comes home, formula options, possible illnesses he will have been exposed to in Africa, possible delayed development, etc.

We started a website just for Dasch:
https://www.babyjellybeans.com/web/do/site/home?ID=86866

Come check it out!!

2006-05-15T18:23:00.000-07:00

My TB test was negative. Not that I had any doubts. I finished my health paperwork and will mail it out tomorrow. DH has his physical on Wednesday and that should be the last of the paperwork for now. We weren't able to go to Denver yesterday; my head was killing me so we'll have to schedule it some other time. Nonetheless, I had a great Mother's Day!!

2006-05-13T13:49:00.000-07:00

I had my physical on Friday and my TB test. The NP filled out and signed my paperwork; I go back on Monday morning so they can read my TB test which so far looks negative. No bump or anything, just a little red dot where they stabbed me. Not too bad. Chad has his on Wednesday and once that's done we can send in our health paperwork.

There were some bombings (6) in Ethiopia on Friday right in Addis Ababa. Some went off in the shopping district and also in the neighborhoods where most of the agency run orphanages are located. Thankfully only a few people were injured but it is still a very tragic thing to hear about.

The list of immunizations we have to have before traveling to Africa is so long! I talked to the NP about it yesterday and some of them she can do, but the others we have to get done at the health department like the yellow fever shots. Blech! Here's the list:

Hep A&B
Polio
Meningitis
Typhoid
Tetanus booster
Measles booster (for adults)
And, outside Addis, also anti-Malarials and Yellow Fever

Tomorrow is Mother's Day and our plan is to go up to Denver and visit the Ethiopian Church and then eat at an Ethiopian restaurant. We will be in the minority but it is something we need to get adjusted to.

2006-05-03T19:51:00.000-07:00

Our homestudy paperwork has been done and mailed off to our local agency for our home study. The social worker called me at work on Monday to tell me she got everything. I was nervous about it not being right and when I asked her how it looked, she said "everything is perfect! And so organized, too!". That was a relief. Our RE (Dr. Mag) didn't fill out our health verification form right, so she is sending us new forms and we will need to go see our primary doctor for a physical so he can fill out the forms.

I have an appointment with my ob/gyn on Friday. I am going to talk with her about the protocal for inducing lactation. My girls never had formula and I don't see any real reason why Dasch should have it either if I can produce milk and not have to pay for it. It just makes more sense to me and its healthier for him. My goal is to produce enough for him to not have to be on any formula once he comes home.

I've started reading about something called "cocooning". This is when the baby comes home and is basically at home and being taken care of only by mommy and daddy the first 2 months. No one else is allowed to hold him, feed him, bathe him, change him, carry him, etc. This is suppose to establish attachment between the primary caregivers and the baby. I'm going to keep reading about this; I had never heard of this before starting this adoption.

I can't believe we started this process in January and it is already May!! Good grief. This year is speeding by so fast.....

2006-04-24T16:33:00.000-07:00

Exciting day! We got the final 2 friend referrals and our RE called and said our medical verification forms were done and being mailed out today!!! That's it!!! We can send out the home study packet after I make copies of everything!!!

2006-04-23T04:18:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we devoted to cleaning. The girls spent about 3-4 hours in the backyard bagging up leaves, branches, twigs, debris, etc. I think we have about 10 bags and it doesn't seem like we have even made a dent in the junk back there. It is a work in progress and I hope the agency that does our home study understands that.

While they were doing that, I was sweeping and mopping floors, cleaning floorboards, getting marks off the walls, getting the leak from the washer fixed, vaccuuming, etc. Next weekend I plan on attacking the bathrooms and finishing up the rec room downstairs.

We are almost completely done with our packet. Still waiting on:
-2 referrals from Chad's friends (Carlos & Devon).
-Medical verification form from our RE.

I don't know what is taking the RE so long to respond. I'm going to call the office on Monday.

Tomorrow I have back to work after being home since April 5 for my surgeries. I thought I would have to take some additional time off since I found out on Friday my grandmother had a heart attack and is in ICU. After talking with my uncle, it appears she is stable and is being moved out of ICU this weekend. She's a little trooper!

2006-04-18T13:23:00.000-07:00

I survived the second half of my sinus surgery yesterday. It wasn't expected, but at my post-op checkup my doctor found more scarring and he wasn't able to remove the stint he put in my right sinus. I am heading back to work on Monday, thank goodness. I am going stir-crazy at home but I must admit that I am getting a lot accomplished on our adoption paperwork.

We are still waiting for a few things before we can send in our packet, which is due April 30 to our homestudy agency.
A) Medical verification from our RE
B) 3 more referrals from our friends
C) Me to finish my autobiography

DH sailed through his portion of the paperwork, especially the autobiography. I was amazed; I thought I would have to be on his case about getting it done but he beat me! I am soooo lagging on the autobiography. I started on it, but got incredibly sad about my life. It wasn't great growing up in my family and surviving my first marriage and it is painful to think about that period of time, especially when I have to be so specific in my writing about it. But I did get some great advice from other adoptive parents and my therapist as well, so I'm going to go at it with a different perspective. I've committed to having it finished by Friday of this week.

We've tentatively decided our next adoption will be a girl (yeah!!!) and she will be from somewhere in Asia. DH likes the name Meadow, I like Monarch. We shall see but I'm just so excited we have chosen adoption, or rather that it chose us.

2006-04-10T19:30:00.000-07:00

The paperchase continues. Here's what we still need before we can submit our formal homestudy packet to the agency and it is due by April 30:

Write a Statement of Adoption: 1. Why each of us wishes to adopt; 2. What type of child would be difficult for each of us to accept?; 3. What have the reactions been from extended family and friends to the prospect of us adopting children?
Write our autobiographies
Health Insurance Coverage Verification Form from my HR department
Mine/Chad's Health History Forms completed by our RE
Girls' Physicals (Friday, April 14) & their Health History Forms completed by their pediatrician
Pictures of: me alone, Chad and I together, and the interior of our home
Two originals of each of the pictures and one set of color copies (which means I also need to buy a color ink cartridge for my printer)
One certified copy of: all of our birth certificates (5), marriage certificates (1 for Chad, 2 for me), and my divorce decree (total: $147.00)
Fill out and send to immigration our I600 and I600-A form w/I864: Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition, Petition to Classify Orphan as an Immediate Relative, & Affidavit of Support ($685)
Complete the FCVN Visa Application Form
Complete the BCIS/ICPC Fee Form ($205)
Complete the FCVN Formal Homestudy Application Fee Form ($150)

Believe it or not, this is the last of it and only accounts for about 10% of the total paperwork we've already filled out and chased down. I've already done all the rest. I've heard that when your baby is finally home in your arms that this part doesn't seem as challenging as it does right now. I'm certainly counting on it.

2006-04-08T04:00:00.000-07:00

There are only a few agencies in the US that are licensed and certified to facilitate adoptions from Ethiopia:

Adoptions Advocates International
401 East Front Street
Port Angeles, WA 98362
Phone: 360-452-4777
Email: merrily@adoptionadvocates.org
http://www.adoptionadvocates.org

Americans for African Adoptions, Inc.
8910 Timberwood Dr.
Indianapolis, IN 46234-1952
Phone: 317-271-4567
Fax: 317-271-8739
Email: amfaa@aol.com
http://www.africanadoptions.org

Children's Home Society & Family Services
1605 Eustis Street
St. Paul, MN 55108
Phone: 651-646-6393
Fax: 651-646-0436
Email: info@chsm.com
http://www.chsm.com

Christian World Adoption
111 Ashley Avenue
Charleston, SC 29401
Phone: 843-722-6343
Fax: 843-722-1616
Email: hardingt@cwa.org
http://www.cwa.org

Dove Adoptions International, Inc.
180 North Main Street, Suite A
Banks, Oregon 97106
Phone: 503-324-9010
Fax: 503-324-9080
http://www.adoptions.net

Gladney Center for Adoption
6300 John Ryan Drive
Fort Worth, TX 76132
Toll free: 800-452-3639
Phone: 817-922-6088
Fax: 817-922-5955
Email: info@gladney.org
www.gladney.org

Wide Horizons for Children, Inc.
38 Edge Hill Road
Waltham, MA 02451
Phone: 781-894-5330
Fax: 781-899-2769
Email: info@whfc.org
http://www.whfc.org

2006-04-08T03:38:00.000-07:00

Relief! I survived sinus surgery for a second time!!! I certainly hope and pray I never ever go through that again. It is just pure torture. But, I'm here and slowly but surely the pain is starting to go away and the bleeding is stopping.

This week I received my income verification letter from my employer and we were able to get our homestudy contracts notarized thanks to my wonderful coworker, Nora. I have mailed the medical verification form to our RE to fill out and send back which I will hopefully get by next week. The girls' all have their physicals next Friday and I will be getting their medical verification forms that day. We have the final pictures coming back on Monday. Still need to make a ton of photocopies for everything, too and then we should be ready to mail the formal application packet back to the agency.

2006-04-04T16:56:00.000-07:00

We took the girls up to Mt. St. Frances over the weekend and took some family pictures for our home study. They turned out really nice.

DH and I finished all the questionnaires in the homestudy packet over the weekend. There was some pretty serious questions in there that we were afraid to answer, some very private stuff. But, we know that this process is in God's hands, so we answered as truthfully as we were able. Now we have to get our medical forms verified by our RE, get the girls' physicals done (April 14), wait for our employment verifications to get here, wait for our health insurance coverage verification form to get here, type up some autobiographies, tell DH's brother and SIL what we are doing and ask them to be guardians for Dasch, wait for our friend referrals to be returned....I know there is a bunch more we need to do, but that's all I can think of right now. There is still so much to do it seems like we will never ever be done!!!

2006-03-31T20:57:00.000-07:00

We finally got the formal homestudy packet today. It is due in 30 days which will give me plenty to do with the time off I'll have recovering from sinus surgery. There is a lot of paperwork to fill out, copy, and send in.

Another surprise: we got a free can of Enfamil formula in the mail today along with some coupons. That's always a bonus!

BackYard Duty

2006-03-31T13:34:00.000-07:00

The girls and I tackled the backyard today. There was a lot of twigs and leaves. We want it to look good for our home study. Plus it was a beautiful day today. The girls were real troopers.

2006-03-27T10:52:00.000-07:00

Another host of delays. We still haven't recvd the formal application home study packet that was supposed to be here 2 weeks ago. I wonder what the hold up is??

I'm off to the hospital today for some tests and to probably have my gall bladder removed. Then, I am back for another surgery on April 5 for sinuses. So for pretty much the next month we won't be getting very much accomplished on the adoption since I'll be recovering. Ho hum.

2006-03-24T05:20:00.000-07:00

What an irritating week this has been. First, I got the time wrong for the on-line adoption seminar we had signed up for, so now we have to wait another month for the next one. Then, the home study paperwork never showed up from the agency in Denver, so I had to call and tell them we didn't get it. The SW said she would send another one so hopefully we will get that this week. Delays, delays. I guess they are happening for a reason. While we wait, we are watching Adoption Stories on Discovery Health Channel. We've learned a lot and have had our eyes opened about issues that come up with adoption, so that has been helpful in generating discussions about issues like race, prejudice, etc. Today I am sending in the money ($250) for the International Adoption classes we have to take. At least we did get the immigration paperwork from Homeland Security this week, so that's a good thing.

2006-03-15T17:09:00.000-07:00

Things accomplished this week:

-DH's birth certificate finally arrived.
-My CBI background check arrived, all clear.
-Recvd a call today from the home study agency and our preliminary application was approved.
-Recvd a call from Polly w/the international adoption agency verifying that we are attending the on-line seminar on Monday, which we are.

Now DH needs to go downtown and get his passport, I'm waiting for my FBI background check to get here, and we move on to the formal home study paperwork and international adoption classes which are up in Denver on April 20 and 21.

2006-03-09T11:45:00.000-07:00

Another milestone reached. We sent in our homestudy application and fee to get that started. Glad that part is under way. Hopefully our study will be after my surgery (April 5) because I can take that week to clean the house.

Holy did the sweetest thing last night....I came home from work and she called me upstairs to her room. She had cleaned out the top 2 drawers of her dresser and had folded up all the baby clothes and organized them in the dresser. What a sweetie!!!

2006-03-06T18:10:00.000-07:00

What a busy busy day. I'm ready to relax and think about nothing right now.

This morning started off with a visit to the RE's office for my CD3 bloodwork. He is retesting my FSH levels and my anti-thyroid antibodies to confirm the diagnosis of Hashimoto's Disease. DH and I decided already that if my FSH levels end up normal this time, we are done with TTC and are going ahead with our plans to adopt.

This afternoon I went to see my therapist. I talked with her about my fears of the home study and all the scary things I need to talk to the SW about. My childhood, my current relationship (or lack thereof) with my family, the first marriage, etc. It is just all ugly and I really don't like talking about it. I feel like I am going to be judged and the SW gets the final stamp of approval of whether I am a good mom or not. My therapist is great. She has other clients who have adopted and she said she thinks I will sail through it with flying colors. She has also agreed to writing me a letter of recommendation. I feel a bit better after talking with her, but its hard to feel confident about it when I am basically laying myself bare and vulnerable to a complete stranger who gets to decide if I am fit enough to raise a child (not considering that I'm already raising 3).

At work I had my annual merit review with my supervisor and manager. I got a nice little bonus and raise which was great!

We opened a 2nd checking account just for the adoption costs. All of our savings and extra money will go directly into that account.

After work I had to attack the paperwork:
--I-600A form completed and signed by both of us ($685)
--Called our home study agency for the district US CIS office to mail our petition
--DH confirmed he can get the time off for the International Adoption Training classes ($250)
--Completed the IAT class registration form
--Completed both passport applications ($194)

Still waiting for DH's birth certificate to get here and then we can turn in his passport application. I'm still waiting for my name change to go through before I can turn in mine. We also need to decide which agency we are using for the international portion of the adoption. We've narrowed it down to Wide Horizons for Children and Children's Home Society & Family Services. The price is about the same, but I really like CHSFS adoption forum and how personable and quick they have been with responding to our questions. But, we've met directly with WHC and like them, too. Decisions, decisions. We need to hurry up and decide because that is the last piece we need before we can send in the I-600A form. I'm going over both applications and info packets tonight to nail it down.

This blog is solely for going through the adoption process. I'm going to start another site strictly for Dasch.....until then!!

2006-03-06T10:06:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we went to Babies R Us to find out more about cribs. We both know pretty much nothing about them, so we talked to the salesperson at the store and he gave us a lot of information. He could have totally directed us to the high price cribs just to make some money, but he basically told us we didn't need to spend more than $250 on a crib and $100 on a crib mattress. We found one that we both like and it seems pretty simple to put together. It has a matching changing table too, and DH wants that but I'm fine without one really.

While we were at Sam's Club this weekend we looked at the price of diapers, wipes, and formula. Again, we both know nothing about these things so this is a learning experience for us. I did go to the ARC this weekend and got a bunch of baby clothes for $17. Can't beat it!

On Saturday we got the sign up sheet for the International Adoption Training meetings that are required. They are April 20 & 21 from 9-6. DH isn't sure he can get the time off so I'm not sure what we will end up doing. It was more than we expected, $250. But we have to get it done.

This Friday we are getting DH's passport and sending in our home study application and questionnaire.

2006-03-03T17:13:00.000-07:00

I'm beat. I rearranged Holy's room today to make space for the crib. We need to show the SW that we have enough room for another baby and that we are serious about adopting. I found a good place for it, now we just need to find one. I've never bought one before, so I'm not sure how to go about it. I think we (i.e., ME) will need to put it together. Still waiting for my manager to give me my official wage letter so I can send in our home study application. Come on already!! We also got email confirmation that DH's birth certificate has been shipped so that should be here any day. Thank goodness. In the meantime I need to get my eyebrows waxed and hair cut & colored. Why is this important with our adoption? Because after seeing my horrid passport photo I realized that I need to spruce myself up a bit before we go get our family pictures done (we need to send those in with our formal HS app). I don't think the "To Do" list will ever be complete!!

2006-03-03T02:18:00.000-07:00

This has been a crazy week but I feel like we are making progress. We were talking about ways to bring Dasch's culture into his life and decided to go with a safari theme for his room. Pictures, etc. so we can talk to him about the different animals that live in Africa. We always want him to know his origin and to be proud of his culture.

Emilee came into my room last night to talk about the adoption process with me. She wanted to know how soon her baby brother was going to be home. We explained to the girls from the beginning that international adoption doesn't happen over night and to expect it to take a year. She wanted to make very sure that we were definitely adopting a little boy and I said "Yes, absolutely!". Then I thought about it and said "Unless the SW thinks I'm a bad mommy and tells me I can't adopt". Emilee rolled her eyes and said "Well we know THAT would never happen!". But, I must admit, it is something I think about. What if my house isn't clean enough, if it smells like pet odor, if my XH does something to mess it up, if my DD's say something during their SW interview that sounds really really bad, or if the SW just thinks we're bad people and doesn't approve our home study. I try to remind myself that this is all in God's hands and I need to just chill out. I'll be glad when this part is over.

Some of my coworkers have said they want to throw me a baby shower. It feels so weird to accept that kind of generosity from them, though. I would rather be doing those types of things for other people, so I just keep shooing them away when the subject comes up. I feel like I know nothing about babies, especially boys, so they've been really great resources for me to go and ask questions. It has been fun, though, to walk through the baby aisles at Target and WalMart and see all the cool baby stuff they have now. We just have to figure out where to do our registry and get started on that, too.

2006-03-01T22:13:00.000-07:00

Every day it seems that there is another list of tasks that need to be accomplished. With having a full-time job and going to school full-time, plus being a mom and trying to take care of my health also....oy vey!

DH and I have been having some serious discussions about the issue of circumcision. Newborns in Ethiopia are not circumcised but it is really important to DH that Dasch have this done. His reasoning is that Dasch will be different from him and the other boys his age, in school, on sports teams, etc. that he needs one less thing that will set him apart. Not having the "plumbing" that DH does, I can't relate to the penis identity I guess. I am against circumcision and consider it cosmetic and a form of mutilation. That being said and having explained my position to DH, I have agreed to turn that decision over to him after researching all of the facts of the process involved with circumcising an older infant as opposed to a newborn.

So, we went to see DH's urologist today; the one that our RE referred us to and who just happens to also be a pediatric urologist. We talked with Dr. Kohn at length about our situation and he took us through the process. If we bring Dasch home between 3-4 months old, he thinks that the youngest we should have him circ'd is 6 months. No sense in traumatizing the kid immediately after landing in America. What a welcome home that would be, right??!! Anyhow, he would be admitted to the hospital, sedated, and the doc would do a "free-hand" circ which would include stitches and an overnight stay. OK, so I feel better that he would be asleep for it, but OMG stitches on his penis??!! The more I find out about this ritual, the more appalled I become. I asked the doctor directly: are there any reasons other than cosmetic to have this done? His response: nope. It is the decision of the parents whether to have their sons cut or uncut. Ugh!!! Of course having had 3 DD's....I am completely unprepared and ill equipped for this decision. What does it feel like to be circumcised or uncircumcised?? I don't know and never will. So, as long as DH is making an informed decision with all of the facts and is taking ownership of the process, I have decided to willingly let it go....albeit while gritting my teeth.

Other items that I got accomplished today include getting the US CIS (US Citizen & Immigration Services) Forms I600, I600A, and I864 w/Section 213A forms and starting to fill those out.

These are the forms we have to send to our local immigration office to:
-apply for advance processing of an orphan adoption
-petition to classify orphan as an immediate relative
-affidavit of financial support

I have been advised to send in the I600A ASAP because this form takes the longest to process and I can submit it (along with $685) before our homestudy is done. Once the HS is complete, our SW then sends a copy of it to the immigration office and the application is complete. Then, we get sent an appointment for fingerprinting and have to go downtown to the immigration office to do that.

We also went to Babies R Us and SuperTarget to look at baby stuff. The girls at work have been bugging me to start looking around for what I want and need (which is everything) and to start a registry. It just feels so surreal at this point that I'm afraid of jinxing it. So, we've decided on a Safari theme and looked at bedding, cribs, changing tables, strollers, infant car seats, swings, etc. My DD's were raised differently....no bottles, only cloth diapers, no formula, no cribs. I have toyed with the idea of trying to BF Dasch when we get him, but since he will be in daycare after being home with me for 2 months and will have been bottlefed for the months before we bring him home, I just can't imagine it working.

This whole experience is like having my first baby all over again and I won't be parenting him the same way as my DD's. Strange, foreign territory for this mommy.

And finally, I went and had my passport pics taken. The only thing I could think of when I saw it was: OMG, I got so fat and old!!! Of course its a lot like my driver's license picture and how reliable are those??? I'll just keep telling myself that so I don't slump into a very very deep depression.

The next step is getting my official merit review from work with my official yearly salary statement and then sending in the home study agency application with the $50 fee. Once that is turned in, we should then get our official home study application and then have the first of many visits with our assigned SW.

Busy, busy, busy.....

2006-02-28T18:53:00.000-07:00

DH's birth certificate ordered
Letter of explanation for counseling completed
Both letters "Why do I want to adopt?" completed

2006-02-26T21:06:00.000-07:00

So I went on a hunt today to find out (or try to) where my parents were born. I need this information for both my passport and agency application. I checked my birth certificate but all it says is that my dad was born in Washington and my mom was born in Oregon. I think I need the city and county as well. I'm hoping my aunt will be able to help me with that. I also found out that DH was born in Hawthorne, CA when I thought he was born in Torrance; he also doesn't know where his parents were born and he doesn't have a birth certificate. Guess I'll need to order his.

2006-02-25T14:03:00.001-07:00

Today is Holy's 10th birthday! I can't believe its been that long since I had her. Seems like just yesterday. Once all the girls left from the pizza slumber party, I went to the post office and mailed all my TTC stuff to a friend of mine from the message board I post to. It felt good to finally be rid of all that paraphenalia; fertility monitor, bbt, sperm-friendly lubricant, OPK's, TCOYF book, etc. It was a very liberating experience. I also sent my fingerprints out to the FBI/CBI for the background check I need for my legal name change. It feels great to be able to say "I'm getting things done". We are going to another pre-adoption seminar this Saturday; this one is for CWA and is up in Littleton, CO.

2006-02-24T20:41:00.000-07:00

Americans for African Adoptions Fees:
AFAA Application Fee: $250.00
AFAA Country Fee: $7500.00 (Ethiopia) $4000.00 (Liberia)
US CIS Immigation Fee: $545.00
US CIS Fingerprint Fee: $140.00

Escort Fee: $1500.00 (Ethiopia) $2000.00 (Liberia)
Baby's Airfare from Africa to US: $750.00

Passport: $85/person
Travel Visa: $70/person
Airfare: $800.00-$1200.00 per person

Foster Care (per month): $200.00

Colorado Home Study Agency Fees (FCVN):
Home Study Fee: $1200.00
Adoption Education Classes: $110.00
Post-Placement Fees: $900.00

2006-02-24T17:06:00.000-07:00

"David" Githui Karanja

This is the little boy we currently sponsor through Compassion International. His birthday is March 15 and he lives in Kenya. He lives with both of his parents and he has 2 siblings. We have been sponsoring him since last summer and have received several letters from him since then.

2006-02-24T14:40:00.000-07:00

I am so pissed! I just heard from my benefits manager today. He told me that if I "choose" to take time off from work to bond with my baby, it would be unpaid. I don't qualify for maternity benefits because I am not giving birth. I expressed to him that I considered that to be disciminatory since I cannot give birth and will be growing my family via adoption instead and if birthmoms get 8 weeks paid maternity leave, so should adoptive moms. He said that giving birth is considered a "disabling act" and that is why birthmoms get up to 8 weeks paid maternity leave. Adoption is a choice and not a physically disabling act, therefore it is not paid.

-posted to TTC message board 2/24/06

2006-02-23T20:01:00.000-07:00

Done & Done. Paperwork filled out, money orders purchased, envelopes addressed, fingerprints are ready to go. The CBI has 72 hours to run my background check and place it in the mail. The FBI, however, takes 8-10 weeks to receive it back. Ick! While we're waiting, we're going to fill out the application for the home study agency we are using here locally and move forward with getting DH's & Jessika's passports.

Total Costs for FBI/CBI money orders: $35.33

2006-02-23T16:37:00.000-07:00

Program Fees and Other Expenses
Gladney Center for Adoption

ADOPTION FEES PAID TO GLADNEY
Gladney Application Fee: $300
Home Study Review Fee: $250
Gladney Program Fee: $4,200
Post Placement Report Administration Fee: $450

ADOPTION FEES PAID TO OTHERS
CIS Application and Fingerprinting for 2 Adults: $685
Authentication of Documents: $350
Passport: $85/person (3)
Travel Visa: $70/person (3)

IN ETHIOPIA
Foreign coordinator/foreign source fee: $7,000
Visa medical exam, related processing & admin. fee: $230
Visa fee: $335
U.S. Embassy issuance fee: $65

Colorado Home Study Agency Fees (FCVN)
Home Study Fee: $1200.00
Adoption Education Classes: $110.00
Post-Placement Fees: $900.00

2006-02-23T16:30:00.000-07:00

Country & Culture

Ethiopia is the oldest independent country in Africa and one of the oldest in the world. The country's Rift Valley is known as the "cradle of civilization". Fossils of the oldest human skeleton, "Lucy," were found here in 1974. Ethiopia is unique in Africa, in that it was never under colonial rule, other than an occupation by Italy during WWII. Ethiopia is split religiously, with official statistics of 35% to 40% Ethiopian Orthodox primarily in the north, and 45% to 50% Muslim, primarily in the South. It shares borders with Kenya (to the south), Somalia (east), Djibouti (northeast), Eritrea (north) and Sudan (west).

What the DH is thinking

2006-02-22T22:13:00.000-07:00

My grandfather had two boys. As well as my dad and brother. So it was my destiny for boys. I had (or I should say have) a tough relationship with my dad. So that is why I want a boy. To do the things dads do with their sons. I talked to my brother today and he was driving my nephew to t-ball practice. I want that so bad. The joy and love that was in my brother's voice. I had a hard time when I found out that we wouldn't have any biological children. When we found out about my wife's problems there wasn't any hope. It was the end of the line, I thought. But we started talking about adoption and I got excited and I felt alive. We started sending away for info. And each packet that I went through the more pumped up I got. Our meeting this past Monday was the start of a wonderful journey. I can't wait for the day when I will hold Dasch in my arms and tell him how much I love him. I pray that this will happen. We all have a plan in life that is all laid out in front of God. Our journey is to go to Africa and bring home Dasch Gideon Geller. When Jessika came home I told her about our plans and that we wanted her to come with us. I wish I could bottle her joy and sell it. She told me that she would save up her money and would help pay for her ticket. I love my three girls. They're not my step-daughters, they are my girls.

2006-02-22T19:03:00.000-07:00

What a busy day. I went downtown to get my fingerprints done for my name change and that took over an hour. Good grief!! I'm mailing out the background checks for CBI & FBI tomorrow. That normally takes about 30 days to get back and then I can file the court paperwork to have my last name legally changed to Geller.

DH got his passport pics today. We are sending in the paperwork to renew his passport on Friday.

The girls are so excited about our adoption. They just cannot wait. We've started discussions about what we will say when people ask us about the racial differences. We are also going through a book on interracial adoption together as a family.

Total costs: $44.00

Fingerprint cards: $6.00
Fingerprints (name change): $30.00
DH's passport pics: $8.00

2006-02-22T13:03:00.000-07:00

The U.S. Embassy in Addis Ababa confirms that there are five American adoption agencies known to have bona fide licenses to facilitate international adoptions from Ethiopia to the United States. The following U.S. adoption agencies are licensed to facilitate adoptions in Ethiopia. Private independent adoptions can take place only with the approval of MOLSA:

Adoptions Advocates International
401 East Front Street
Port Angeles, WA 98362
Phone: 360-452-4777
Email: merrily@adoptionadvocates.org
http://www.adoptionadvocates.org

Americans for African Adoptions, Inc.
8910 Timberwood Dr.
Indianapolis, IN 46234-1952
Phone: 317-271-4567
Fax: 317-271-8739
Email: amfaa@aol.com
http://www.africanadoptions.org

Children's Home Society & Family Services
1605 Eustis Street
St. Paul, MN 55108
Phone: 651-646-6393
Fax: 651-646-0436
Email: info@chsm.com
http://www.chsm.com

Christian World Adoption
111 Ashley Avenue
Charleston, SC 29401
Phone: 843-722-6343
Fax: 843-722-1616
Email: hardingt@cwa.org
http://www.cwa.org

Dove Adoptions International, Inc.
180 North Main Street, Suite A
Banks, Oregon 97106
Phone: 503-324-9010
Fax: 503-324-9080
http://www.adoptions.net

Wide Horizons for Children, Inc.
38 Edge Hill Road
Waltham, MA 02451
Phone: 781-894-5330
Fax: 781-899-2769
Email: info@whfc.org
http://www.whfc.org/

2006-02-21T18:26:00.000-07:00

Cost breakdown for Ethiopia adoption:

Wide Horizons for Children
Adoption Agency Service Fee: $1400.00
Program Administration Fee: $3500.00
Ethiopian Program Specific Fee: $6700.00

ADOPTION FEES PAID TO OTHERS
CIS Application and Fingerprinting for 2 Adults: $685
Authentication of Documents: $350
Passport: $85/person (3)
Travel Visa: $70/person (3)

Visa medical exam, related processing & admin. fee: $230
Visa fee: $335
U.S. Embassy issuance fee: $65

Colorado Home Study Agency Fee (FCVN):
Home Study: $1200.00
Adoption Education Classes: $110.00
Post-Placement Fees: $900.00

2006-02-21T03:42:00.000-07:00

Flag of Ethiopia

Busy, exciting, and wonderful day!

First things first.....I saw the surgeon today. He suspects I have severe endometriosis and that it was has caused the tubal blockage and pain. He also suspects I have a herniated disc in my lower back and that it was has been causing that pain. So off I went to the hospital for a lovely 30 minute MRI of my spine and abdomin. Not fun, but I used my relaxation techniques I learned in biofeedback and it went really really well. Once the results are back, I will be prepped for surgery (lap) and will need to decide if I just want the endo removed or if I want my uterus/tubes gone for good. That would mean no more periods, no more pain. HHHHMMMM, TOUGH CHOICE!!! I would keep my ovaries and would need no HRT (hormone replacement therapy). He said that keeping my organs would still allow me at some point in the future to do IVF w/donor embies. Um, no thanks!

But the most exciting thing of the day (and the reason why I am up at the ungodly hour of 3:42am posting away) was our pre-adoption seminar up in Denver with WHFC (Wide Horizons for Children). It was amazing and we haven't stopped talking about it since. We have never ever been this excited about IVF so we absolutely know that this IS the plan for us. How sad that it only took every single door being slammed shut in our faces about having a bio child to figure that out. Sheesh, sometimes we are so thick-headed.

The caseworkers from the Ethiopia program answered all of our questions, gave us their direct phone numbers and email addies, and were awesome! From start to finish, it will take us about a year to 18 months to bring our son home! We simply cannot wait to get this process started. Of course it involves loads and loads of paperwork, homestudy, dossier, getting matched, waiting and waiting for Ethiopia's government to approve, travel, and then GOTCHA!!!! He's ours!

An interesting statistic I heard was that 80% of the children requested for international adoption are girls. I was surprised but also relieved because we want a little boy and there is a much shorter match time and forever families for boys are in desperate need. We are so lucky!

Now, the next step is trying to decide if we want to absolutely go with Ethiopia or Taiwan. Both are affordable, are in need of families, have very flexible adoption requirements, have the shortest match times, and place the youngest aged infants. Once that is decided, we need to choose an agency. Decisions, decisions, decisions. In the meantime, we need to do the following:

-Get my last name legally changed to DH's (more favorable for embassy dossier if mom/dad have the same last name; right now mine is hyphenated "Blanchard-Geller"...buh-bye Blanchard.)
-Renew DH's passport
-Get mine and Jessika's passports (she's coming with us for our GOTCHA! trip)
-Have a family portrait taken for our embassy dossier
-Finish getting this house together and take pictures (also for our embassy dossier)
-Order 5 copies each of my/DH's birth certificates, my/XH's marriage license, my/XH's divorce decree, my/DH's marriage license
-Sign up for our 24 hours of adoption readiness classes (required by CO)

Whew, and that isn't even the tough stuff.

It is hard for us to imagine that this time next year, our son could possibly be home with us in our arms. It is reasonable to imagine that he is going to be conceived very shortly, if not already. I wonder what his birth mother/father are thinking and doing right now? Do they know that we are waiting for him? Do they know how much we already love and adore him? Do they know that we are already thinking of names for him (Dasch Nelson [birth name] Geller)?

This is the most exciting thing I could have ever imagined doing with my life. As inviting as IVF w/donor embies can seem, it does not make my heart race and my soul sing like adopting. It simply does not, and maybe that is why I know that this is our calling, what we are and were meant to be doing all along.

Total costs: $25 (gas to Denver for pre-adoption seminar with WHFC)

2006-02-19T10:13:00.000-07:00

Off we go! Tomorrow night we are going to our first adoption information meeting. It is by an agency called Wide Horizons for Children and is up in Denver. Hopefully the weather will cooperate and we won't have any problems getting up there. Thankfully I have tomorrow off (President's Day) and DH gets off at 4:00. The meeting is from 7-9 so we will have plenty of time to get there.

We had the big talk with the girls last night at dinner about our plans to adopt. They were so excited! Jessika, of course, wants us to adopt a little girl from China which I would love, but DH has his heart set on a son. I can't say that I blame him with all the estrogen floating around this house, but I would truly love another little girl. We asked the girls how they feel about the possibility of a brother or sister from a different ethnicity and they couldn't care less. They are just so excited to be getting a sibling and that we are helping a child by giving them a home.

I'm sure we will learn so much good stuff tomorrow! I can't wait to get this process started.

2006-02-18T07:45:00.000-07:00

Well, we had our last RE appt. on Wednesday. He broke it down for us, explained that my right tube is definitely blocked which is why the HSG hurt so much. Apparently the radiologist tries to push through as much dye as possible to unblock the tube but obviously it didn't work. I am seeing the surgeon on Monday to figure out what is causing the blockage. It could be adhesions, scarring, endometriosis. And my FSH level is so high that I basically have the ovaries of a 60 year old woman in the throws of menopause. So, no more bio babies for me. Our only chance of having a child is to do IVF/ICSI with DH's sperm and a donor egg, or a donor embryo. That just is not going to happen. We don't have that kind of money just laying around and I can't see myself going through that process at my age. Too much disappointment and heartache, too many drugs, too many unknowns in the IVF process as far as we're concerned.

DH had to deal with his sperm issues when he found out in '03 that he has such extreme infertility. Finding out that this time it is my issue, that my eggs are basically gone and I'm going through menopause is really heartbreaking for me. I never imagined that the ability to have a child would be gone at this age. At 50, 60....yes, definitely. But not at 37. I was not prepared for the emotions of it. I have felt angry, depressed, sad, stunned. And at the same time I have felt incredibly grateful to have had my 3 DD's when I was so young, despite my friends and family telling me to wait. How glad I am not to have listened to them because waiting would have meant no babies.

So, what is the cause of my premature ovarian failure? Good question. According to the RE, the biggest culprit appears to be a condition caused Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. Quite a mouthful, indeed. I've only just begun doing my research on this condition, but what I've learned so far is amazing. In 3 months it can eat through a woman's ovarian reserves which appears to be what I have experienced. Here is a link to an excellent site on the disease:

http://www.medicinenet.com/hashimotos_thyroiditis/article.htm

The plan right now is to see the surgeon on Monday to figure out how to unblock my tubes and stop the pain. Then, on CD2 of next month I will be having a follow up FSH to confirm the levels and an ATA (anti-thyroid antibody) draw as well. Once that is done, I am off to an endocrinologist to deal with the HT and get some of the other symptoms controlled.

In the meantime, DH and I have decided to start researching our adoption options. We really feel the urge to raise a child together and since it obviously won't be a bio child, we are turning to adoption. DH is set that he wants a son and I can't seem to be able to change his mind. I can't blame him really but I love my DD's and pretty much know what I am doing in that arena. So far we have recvd lots of literature on Guatemalan adoptions and have also started looking into Ethiopia as well. We are attending our first pre-adoption seminar on Monday night up in Denver to get an overview of the international adoption process. We considered domestic adoption, but there is so much fear and many horror stories we have heard about situations not working out and we want to avoid that as much as possible. We haven't yet decided on an agency, but will be working toward that once we get all the paperwork from the agencies in.

While I am still grieving the loss of my ability to have babies, I am starting to get excited about the adoption process. We will be able to give a needy child a warm, loving home with 2 parents who want him desperately and 3 sisters who will smother him to death!!!

2006-02-10T15:51:00.000-07:00

And more bad news. Had my HSG today, which was incredibly painful, and my tubes are blocked. So not nice. In the last 3 years my body has gone downhill. My FSH in '03 was 4 and both of my tubes were open. I can't believe how quickly things change. DH and I are both stunned.

2006-02-09T16:38:00.000-07:00

UGH!! The bad news is that my FSH is 21. Bad bad news......

2006-02-08T18:50:00.000-07:00

Today at work I got a call from the RE's office. The nurse said they got the results of some of my blood work and the RE needs to talk with me tomorrow on a conference call. I asked why since we have an appointment with him next Wednesday. She said he needs to talk to me before I have anymore procedures done (my HSG is Friday). I asked her if it was bad and she said "Yes, really bad". OMG I am so freakin' out right now and won't find out what it is until tomorrow afternoon. What the heck? And why did she tell me that on the phone without giving me a hint of what it is about. I have been wracking my brains trying to figure out what it is and I have come up with nothing except something big like cancer. I am hopeful it will be something I already know like my CMV test is positive, DH has no sperm, something like that.

2006-02-06T16:46:00.000-07:00

Had my CD3 ultrasound and blood work. 8 vials!! Holy crap! I am calling the lab chick "vampira" from now on! The nurse said the u/s showed that my lining is 'very thin'. Not sure exactly what that means, but it could be because I didn't ovulate at all last month. Was told that DH's SA was worse this time than last, almost immeasurable, that's how bad it was. Good grief! Maybe the urologist can help him out, I don't know. Have also been hearing lately that acupuncture and chinese herbal medicine can help but I am not too sure how I feel about that. I am having my HSG on Friday morning and then we meet with Dr. Mag again next Wednesday to review our chosen protocol.

2006-02-04T12:43:00.000-07:00

Today AF made her appearance. I am officially CD1. On Monday, I go into the RE's office for my CD3 bloodwork and baseline ultrasound. The sometime next week (either CD8, CD9, or CD10) I will be having my HSG. After that, we shall have a firm game plan established as to how to get me PG. I should be able to get DH's SA results on Monday, too. I wonder how bad it is???